Sometimes I get so mad at myself. Sometimes as in a lot. I call myself a Christian. I say I love God more than anything, but right now my life is not showing it AT ALL.
I don't understand why if I hate how I ignore God I keep on doing it. I haven't read my Bible in weeks, months even. I barely go to church and I barely talk to God. I'm not saying I have to do those things to be a Christian but if I truly loved God wouldn't I want to spend as much time with him as possible? Wouldn't I want to talk with Him and read my Bible to learn more about Him? Wouldn't I want to go to church to surrounding myself with fellow believers? I sure would think so. It's hard, but right now even when times are good, I need to lean on Him and thank Him every day for how much he has blessed me.
I want to be a light for God, to give any glory I recieve to Him...he deserves it for sure.
I'm excited about my future. I've become less stressed and have been telling myself that whatever happens, happens. God has control and right now I'm trying to lean on Him and go with the flow. No, God is not going to magically talk to me, and that sort o confuses me sometimes because I don't always know what God exactly wants from me. So right now I am just taking life and college and work one step at a time and if I happen to get off track, well I'm just thankful to have God as my leader to show me the rigt way if that ever happens.
It seriously takes dedication, commitment, love and a bit of time to get to know God better. He's given us that and much more so I just have to tell myself I owe that to Him. And I honestly really do wanna be a good servant, it's not just I feel like I have to. Not at all.
With God all things are possible.
Peace & Blessings.
